Marriage, A Year Later

And just like that, KFC (Kevin and Fran Cruz) is officially a year old! We just celebrated a year of married life and I still cannot believe how quickly a year went by! I thought it would be apt to share some things I've learned during my first year as a wife:

I set some pretty lofty expectations for myself pretty much right after we got back from our honeymoon-- which was immediately after our wedding. I had this idea that in order for me to be a good wife, I should be able to prepare breakfast before my husband wakes up, clean our tiny home, shower, dress up, look pretty, prepare his attire for the day, make him coffee, then come home on time to prepare dinner. BOY WAS I DISAPPOINTED. I couldn't even make breakfast in the morning because I was rushing to get ready for work! I was so disappointed with myself that I told my husband how i felt like a failure. Luckily for me, he said that he did not expect me to accomplish all these AND THAT HE WAS WILLING TO HELP OUT AROUND THE HOUSE. <3

I think it's important to sit down and talk to each other on what your expectations are, and also, what you can both do around the house. 

Also, I don't know why I haven't learned in spite of being in a relationship for 10 years, that I should not expect him to know what's on my mind or what I'm feeling. MARRIAGE DOESN'T CHANGE THAT. Boys / Men need you to talk and speak your mind. 

Not to be a drama queen, but I was BUMMED when we had our first disagreement. I thought, we were still in our honeymoon stage so why are we like this? Well guess what, disagreements are bound to happen! People will tell you that it's all lovey-dovey during the first year. And it's true, but since the first year is usually the adjustment period, it's inevitable to have a fight or two. 

To be honest, it took a while for me to accept this. The whole "honeymoon stage" made me expect that we will be on Cloud nine all the time-- which of course was not the case. During the initial part of our marriage, a fight would make internally freak out about the state of our marriage--and of course Kevin would just be soooooo calm about everything. Pissed, but nowhere near my thoughts of breaking up (I have a tendency to be dramatic). 

But as soon as I had a more reasonable approach to marriage, I treated disagreements as lessons on how Kevin and I can get along better--not little proofs that Kevin should just tell me to go back to my Parents'.

In relation to point no. 2, marriage, as with other relationships, is give and take. There will be times when  you will be irritated with some things, but you have to choose when to turn it into an argument or to let it slide. For instance, at the start of our marriage, I've asked Kevin to hang our towels after every use in order for it to dry properly-- there are times when he forgets to do so and leaves it in the bathroom. It does not make sense to fume over and pick a fight over something as petty as that. 

Also, there are times when he will be extra tired from work and he won't be as chatty when he gets home, or he might be cranky--whenever this happens, I make an effort to not snap and attack him for being cranky. Not that I'm being a doormat, but I've learned to not match his anger whenever his patience is noticeably shorter than usual. Not that I'm being a doormat or anything, but sometimes you have to let things slide. 

Another thing, learn to say sorry. Between us, I'm probably pretty sure I'm the crabby one. There are times (usually around that time of the month), I have a tendency to be irritable and to snap--I know that in spite of being my boyfriend for 10 years prior to getting married, he hasn't fully understood how this happens and though he tries very hard to be understanding, he gets hurt sometimes. When my hormones have calmed down, I make sure to apologize. 

AH THIS. I rolled my eyes when I made the header for this point. Fresh from our honeymoon, one of our principal sponsors, upon seeing me, looked at my face then looked at my belly right away. Then asked, "wala pa ba?" / "No baby yet?"

This is a question we get asked SO OFTEN that it gets soooooooo annoying it's hard to stay polite when we try to explain that we are not trying yet. I read one tip that instead of saying you're not trying to conceive yet, just say, we cannot conceive. LOL. 

I have no tips for this (apart from the above mentioned that we have yet to try), but to try, try, TRY very hard to be patient as people will use this as a conversation starter very, very, VERY often. 

I'd like to know, what were your realizations on your first year of marriage? Leave them on the comments section below x

What's Been Keeping Me Extra Busy Lately

When I was much, much smaller-- and well, younger-- I was extremely fascinated with pretty paper and writing. I collected and swapped scented stationery and metallic pens (these were all the rage in fourth grade) with my friends and classmates. Aside from the pens, I never used the stationery. I just loved looking at them. I would reserve them for more importance use and for extra special recipients. That would happen once a year for the annual school recollection/retreat. 

The love for stationery went on until I was in high school, this time, colored post-its were part of my fascination, and with better motor skills (I guess), doodles had filled out my notebooks and the notes and letters I would give to friends. 

Having gone to a non-sectarian University, there were no recollections or retreats to save and use stationery for anymore. Doodling persisted and a collection for pretty notebooks ensued. 

When I started working, notebooks were replaced by notepads. I collected, no hoarded, pretty notebooks that I did not use until I decided to get into calligraphy. My doodles graduated into beautiful letter forms! 

My calligraphy projects turned into commissioned works for weddings (our own included!), but I felt limited. So late last year, very close to Christmas, I thought I'd venture into designing my own notepads and other personalized merchandise. Luckily, I had supportive friends and colleagues who trusted me to make for them (and for their friends and family!). 

So now, apart from working as a researcher, I'm inching my way towards setting up a stationery business. And this has been making me blissfully extra busy, and happy, lately xxx

Sharing some of my works below xxx And if you're looking to buy bespoke notepads, ribbons, or thinking of someone to help you with branding, hit me up on Facebook. xxx

 (Photo by Daniel Talavera)

 (Photo by Daniel Talavera)

 (Photo by Daniel Talavera)

 (Photo by Anne Naig Photography)

  (Photo by Anne Naig Photography)

  (Photo by Anne Naig Photography)

  (Photo by Anne Naig Photography)

 (Photo by Anne Naig Photography)

 (Photo by Mediarama Creatives)

 (Photo by Mediarama Creatives)

The Week that Was

I'm back to blogging! :) Taking this opportunity to start a new weekly thing incorporating the high and low points of the previous week :)

1. Spent majority of my Saturday with friends from high school. We spent hours reminiscing about our teachers, simpler days at our alma mater, and the petty issues that came with being a high school student. 
2. Finally got around to cleaning our condo after arriving from Tokyo a week ago!
3. Finally found a good health care plan for my family! As I've gotten older I realized the value of good health!

1. Having to wait another week until I get to see my pug. This is a pretty low point every week, to be honest.
2. Got a text message from my Mom saying my pug seems to be extra sad after I left this afternoon...
3. Not being able to cook again! Ever since January rolled in I've been telling myself to get back to cooking since I preferred home cooked meals as they're healthier. 

I'd like to know what your high and low points are from the previous week! Let me know on the comment section below!

x Fran